Zombie Screamers (Lights & Scary Sound) Candy Dispenser, retail $1.50 ( qwww.candyrific.com...)
Manufactured by Candyriffic (www.candyrific.com)
Last updated 11-05-20
The Zombie Screamers (Lights & Scary Sound) Candy Dispenser (hereinafter, probably just called a "Zombie") is a Halloween-themed candy dispenser that has a rather unique twist: it emits an evil laughing sound and its "eyes" blink red when the red button below the hands is pressed.
It comes prefilled with 0.53 oz. (15.02g) of Candyrific brand "Cool Candy" candy in a retail-style plastic package; just judging by feel (through the bag) alone these are small (BB-sized) hard candies.
I have diabetes, so I will not be too likely to try the candy -- though a small amount certainly would do no damage.
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To use the Zombie, just press & release the red button on the front of the product just below its "hands". The product will then begin flashing its red LED "eyes" and emit a spooky laughing sound from a surprisingly large speaker located on its back.
The Zombie is self-terminating after several seconds (four seconds to be exact; timed on a watch with a "seconds" display on it), so you need not do anything to neutralise it.
To get to the sweatness inside, look at the bottom for a circular "hatch" and pry it open with a fingernail or a butterknife. It's hinged, so it can be reclosed.
Surprisingly, this was not designed to be a disposable product!
When the batteries peter out, turn it over (so that its 'face' faces downward) and use a small Phillips screwdriver to unscrew & remove the Phillips screw holding the battery door on. This screw is captive, and will not just summarily fall into the rug and become vaccum cleaner food.
Remove the battery door/screw assembly, carry it to a graveyard, throw it as hard as you can into that graveyard so the skeletons crawl out of their graves, put Halloween masks on, drag a heavy concrete grave marker to where the battery door landed, kick it over the battery door, jump on top of the grave marker, and then start dancing on it - and maybe even go poddy on it...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead
Remove the three dead LR44 button cells, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.
Do not use your foot to gingerly shove them under the Lazy-Boy where the dog might find them, do not attempt to flush them down the loo, and for God sakes please do not throw them over the side of a dock where they might hit a flounder on the way down to the sea bottom.
Insert three new LR44 button cells into the battery chamber, orienting them so that their button-ends (-) negatives face the spring at one end of the chamber.
Finally, place the battery door back on and screw in that little screw.
Aren't you glad that you didn't huck that battery door into the cemetery with all of those horrible, awful, mean skeletons now?
This is a novelty seasonal candy dispenser, not a flashlight meant to be thrashed, bashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't try and stomp on it, drown it in the loo, let the dog piss on it, bash it open to check it for candiosity , fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island {In the episode "Les Saves the Day...Again", Paulie Preztail says "Hey, ever wonder why this park's called 'Mount Erupto' anyway?", then Franklin Fizzlybear says "I think its an old native term. Means 'very safe.'"}), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict upon it punishments that flashlights may have inflicted upon them.
Speaking of candiosity, it *IS* designed to be used as a candy dispenser, but you need not smash it open to get to the sweat goodness contained within.
Photograph showing the red eyes in the "on" part of their cycle.
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this candy dispenser.
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this candy dispenser; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 620nm and 640nm to pinpoint emission peak wavelength, which is 629.670nm.
The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at zombies.txt
A beam cross-sectional analysis would normally appear here, but the ProMetric System
that I use for that test was destroyed by lightning in mid-July 2013.
A video on YourTube showing the Screaming Zombies Lights & Scary Sounds Candy Dispenser flashing its eyes and laughing spookily.
TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased at a Vallarta Supermarket on the morning of 11-03-20.
UPDATE: 00-00-00
PROS:
NEUTRAL:
CONS:
MANUFACTURER: Candyrific
PRODUCT TYPE: Novelty lights & sound candy dispenser
LAMP TYPE: 3mm red LED
No. OF LAMPS: 2
BEAM TYPE: N/A
REFLECTOR TYPE: N/A
SWITCH TYPE: Momentary pushbutton on; auto-off
CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
BEZEL: N/A
BATTERY: 3X LR44 button cells
CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to mesasure
WATER- AND GHOUL PODDY-RESISTANT: Very light splatter-resistance at maximum
SUBMERSIBLE: ¡¡¡UN TRUCO O CONVITE GOER DISFRAZADO DE UN GHOUL MIEDO GRANDE VA AL BAÑO EN UNA CADENA DE LUCES DE HALLOWEEN, NO!!!
ACCESSORIES: Batteries, 0.53 oz. candy
SIZE: 193.90mm T x 52.40mm max. dia.
WEIGHT: 100g (3.53 oz.) incl. batteries & candy; 83g (2.93 oz.) w/out candy
COUNTRY OF MANUFACTURE: China (both candy and dispenser itself)
WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated
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, fire it from the cannoñata
}), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict upon it punishments that flashlights may have inflicted upon them.
