Some people have not been reading the disclaimer at the bottom of this page, so I'll say it up here:
I AM NOT IN ANY WAY EMPLOYED OR COMPENSATED BY EURO-PRO!!! I'M JUST SOME DIM BULB WHO BOUGHT A EURO-PRO BAGLESS STICK SHARK FROM TV, AND DECIDED TO PUT UP A WEBSITE ABOUT IT!!!
THE EURO-PRO WEBSITE IS WWW.EURO-PRO.COM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.
"FINALLY, THE VACUUM YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED IS HERE!"
Introducing the world's first - and so far, only - non-retail website about the Euro-Pro Bagless Stick Shark, the "go anywhere, do anything, 3-in-1 vacuum cleaner with 1.5x the suction power of a full sized upright". I'm not here to sell you a vacuum. I'm just here to try and murder one and show you the crime scene in pictures. :)
Beavis and Butthead could have had a lot of fun with this vaccuumne cleaner!
Around the 1st of the year 2002, I started seeing this TV infomercial for 'The Bagless Stick Shark', a small convertible corded vacuum cleaner that supposedly has more suction than a regular
upright, and can pick up nasty things like map pins, rubber bands, big screws and bolts, light bulbs, peanut M&Ms, lengths of ribbon, paper towels, and other articles that would destroy any
ordinary vacumne.
I was attracted to the vacume cleaner because it is bagless and because it is a "fan last" system - that is, it won't destroy objects picked up by it, so you can easily
retrieve them from the dirt container.
This is one reason I wanted the Euro-Pro Bagless Stick Shark. No bags to explode!!
So I ordered one, and here's my story:
WARNING: This is a HUMOROUS SPOOF on the Stick Shark, please don't try this at home! The spelling police have also been notified that the various misspellings of "vacuum" on this site were done on purpose. So don't waste your time calling them.
AROUND JANUARY 1, 2002:
I started seeing this infomercial for a small vacuum that pretty much eats anything. How cool, no more having to pick up pennies or broken glass before vaccuming!
I wrote a bit on another one of my other websites about the infomercial because I thought it was funny
the way they show ordinary vaccumes being wrecked.
JANUARY 15, 2002: The infomercial plays again, and this time I have a pen and a notebook handy to get some
addresses and such. The next morning, I started searching the net to see if anyone carried the Stick Shark.
JANUARY 17, 2002: I sent a check or money order for $93.93 to the address shown on my screen. Well, ok I didn't.
I found an online retailer who accepted "lower forms of currency" (being that I'm poor and have never qualified for
a credit card), and sent my order in. I ordered the vacuum with 2-day UPS "code blue" shipping.
JANUARY 28, 2002: I got a "thing" in the mail, telling me the vacuum was backordered, and that I'd have to wait.
That @*&%$#ing sucks, considering I paid $23 and change for express shipping. The notice was postmarked January 23, so my payment got there about when I expected it would.
I would have had my new vacuum cleaner by now if they weren't backordered on them.
FEBRUARY 01, 2002: The delivery date listed on the "thing" I got last week has come and gone.
Still no sign of the Stick Shark. The demand for this vacuum is so high the backorders went through the roof.
The Seattle Humane Society people are coming over on Monday with some pet rats that need a home, so it looks like I'm going to have to buy an "emergency vacuum" somewhere locally just so my downtown Seattle apartment doesn't look like a toilet when they come over. :(
FEBRUARY 12, 2002:
Like they say on TV, "Finally, the vacuum I've always wanted is here.
Introducing the Bagless Stick Shark, by Euro-Pro!" This is the first product I've ever purchased just because I saw it on television or in a catalogue.
The Bagless Stick Shark model EP-601 arrived in an attractive, compact box.
The Bagless Stick Shark comes in three main parts: the corded (not cordless or battery powered) vaccuumne itself, the handle, and the floor brush. A clip-on shoulder strap (not shown) is also included that can be affixed to eyelets
on the vacuum's body for using the machine hands-free if it feels too heavy. It also comes with an instructional manual and information on where to obtain replacement parts & other customer service
needs. The additional attachments shown (hose, crevice tool, and upholstery brush) are already mounted on-board the vacuum's body.
One thing that pissed me off about this vaccume was that because I didn't order off TV, I didn't receive the "Deluxe Accessory Kit", consisting of a longer hose, a rigid extension wand, and the larger, two-piece nap brush. Later on though, you'll see this has a happy ending.
It has come to my attention that some people have found the instructional material for attaching the hose unclear, so here is the procedure for doing that, with pictures to show you where the parts are. Why call Euro-Pro when you can just come here? This site isn't just entertaining, it's edumacationamable too.
When you turn the vacuum over, you'll see the floor nozzle is held in place with a small, rounded steel pin. Press FIRMLY down on
this pin with your finger or the eraser end of a pencil (if your nails are too long), and at the same time, pull the floor nozzle
straight off the vacuum body. Applying a slight back and forth twisting motion while pulling the nozzle away can help if it seems
too stubborn, but it should slide straight out once the pin has cleared the little hole for it.
The end of the hose with the metal pin sticking out of it mates with the opening on the vacuum where the floor nozzle used to be.
The other end of the hose does not have this pin.
Press down on the pin firmly, while pushing the hose straight into the opening.
You'll hear a "snap!" when the hose is all the way in and its pin pops up out of the retainer; the hose is now installed and will
not fall off until you want it off.
To remove it, do the same as you did with the floor brush: push the pin firmly down while pulling the hose straight out.
The procedure for removing and reinserting the Stick Shark's telescoping handle is pretty much the same. The handle fits on
firmly, so once you've pushed its pin and gotten the handle partway in, jiggle it slightly while pressing it firmly straight down
into its socket until it snaps in place. Removing the handle is the same as removing the hose: press the pin firmly and pull the handle
straight out.
It has also come to my attention that some people seem to think this model is CORDLESS. It's not, and has a long grey cord that you plug into a wall socket just like a regular vacumn cleaner. It needs 120 volts AC and sucks up about 900 watts when it's running.
Found on Bluephod Infosystems...
I ran it through Babelfish and all I got was Babeldygook. My thanks to Zaphod for the following:
The suffering of a sucker
- -------------------------
Suffering hardware - well, you know I really like that. It doesn't
matter if processors burn, harddisks get shredded or if printers become
acquainted with double bladed battle-axes - my heart is filled with joy
when material is suffering.
Today I had the pleasure of seeing that not only computer hardware has
this effect on me. No, the deliberate torturing of a vacuum cleaner
caused the well-known symptoms as well: Widened pupils, accelerated
heartbeat and sweating feet. I guess I'm quite a pervert."
DISCLAIMER: Vacuuming up sharp, hot, wet, or large objects may permanently damage your Stick Shark and blow out the motor.
Do not attempt anything you see on this page unless you're prepared to buy a new vacuum cleaner. Always keep a working Class AB or all-purpose fire extinguisher available.
When vacuuming flammable metals (ie. magnesium, finely ground aluminum, etc.) a Class D extinguisher must also be kept available.
Do not under any circumstances attempt to vacuum up burning cigarettes, charcoal briquettes, molten metals, hot lava, lasagna, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner,
potato salad in Apet deli containers, Pepsi Cola, Massengil post menstrual
disposable douches, wet sand, cat pee, Lysol brand basin tub & tile cleaner, puke, stagnant pond water, dead goldfish, Fleet Phospho-Soda enema, alkaline rare earth metals,
LNG or MAPP gas,
butane, propane, (2,2,xylene), WD-40, wet feces, vacuum tubes, Fresh Shower, branches, branches with leaves, wet branches with leaves, wet branches with wet leaves,
cow's tongue, Fix-A-Flat, bathtub caulk, molassas, wax toilet bowl rings, shattered razor blades, liquid nitrogen, dirty underwear,
soldering irons, Dippity Do brand hair gel, Liquid Plumr or Drano, grass clippings, flowers, berries, flower/berry mix, spark plugs, toilet bowl water, Depends adult diapers, pine cones, lawnmower blades, Sloan urinator flush valves,
large pieces of brick, fireplace ashes, flashlights, kitchen matches, bicycle spokes, carburetors, wet kitty litter, Spaghetti-O's, shotglasses, Leggos, hairspray, ice cubes, hornet's nests, urinal mints, camera lens caps, bullets, attack dogs, self-sealing stem bolts,
large clock hands, pencil sharpeners, Uncle Milton's Ant Farms, glass insulators, toilet bowl brushes, vacuum cleaner bags, guppies, plastic jugs of urine, credit cards, contact lens cases, or large quantities of tire valve caps.
I am not responsible for any damages should you try anything you see on this page and cause your Bagless Stick Shark to burn, melt, explode, start a fire behind the wall, burn a hole in your favourite chair, kill your cat, knock over your mailbox,
electrocute you,
take off some of your fingers, blow a toilet off the wall, burn your house down, or otherwise do anything that costs you time or money - whether that time or money is yours, your neighbor's,
your whore's, your doctor's, your septic tank pumper's, your milkman's, your car mechanic's, your plumber's, your mailman's,
your insurance company's, and especially your garbage man's.
No toilet bowl water or cat urine was harmed while making this website.
I am not a vacuum cleaner expert, and I don't play one on TV. But I do know basic physics and how things work in general. This website should not be taken as a true "review" of the Stick Shark; although there is some useful information and tips buried within that will help you get the best from your new vacuum cleaner. I cannot be held responsible if you decide to buy a Euro-Pro Bagless Stick Shark on my "recommendation" or after seeing it on this website and then finding out it doesn't work for you or you otherwise hate it.
I have not been monetarily compensated by Euro-Pro, Script to Screen Productions, or Shoplifestyles.com for producing & maintaining this page.
I cannot be held responsible for the costs of cleaning or replacing chairs, couches, beds, or other furniture that becomes urinated and/or defecated while you are viewing this website.
Finally, the words 'vacume' and 'toilet' are intentionally misspelled on this page. So please stop calling.
finally the vacuum you've always wanted is here It's not a stick vac, it's a shark attack.
It's a sandstorm!
here i've got a carpet set up for you with a lot of dirt.
why don't you try that out.
Ok mark that looks clean to me.
Let's see what the bagless stick shark over here can do.
you get a lot more vacume for a lot less money.
even big heavy items fly toward the mouth of the shark. this would ruin any ordinary vaccum, but not the stick shark.
simply dump out the shark tank, and it's hungry for more.
i thought we'd have a little bit of fun with these ribbons on the floor.
we're a very hassle free vacuum cleaner.
I have an upright set up over here. let's see what happens.
oh oh, oh oh, something's happening!
Oh no maddy, we better have a look over here.
Oh no this is terrible... what a mess.
julie and carmen obstacle course
the stick shark makes easy work but this broom vac just pushes the mess around. it simply doesn't have enough suction.
a big upright. it's heavy and awkward, it's almost impossible to clean stairs, it's just too big. it devours these rubber bands try that with an ordinary vacuum.
julie grabs her third machine a typical handheld vacuum. but the handheld is history. there's an awful burning smell. the screws were not picking up, they were stuck inside, I smelled burning, and that was it. ok mark now what do we have going on we have 65 feet of tubing the speed of the airflow going into the vacuum cleaner look at them go wow look at the speed of that maddy check out this suction it's just hungry look at it go you know this would destroy any other device with a beater brush in it when i have some earth in the carpet it just keeps on cleaning unbelievable all that earth out of the carpet it cleans up in a second in a white carpet you're converting it is that enough for you? the bagless stick shark one and a half times the suction power of a full sized upright it sucked up things I didn't even know were in the carpet sucks off the hardwood floor linoleum floor you've seen proof when you set the stick shark loose in your home ground in dirt pet hair heavy items that would ruin any ordinary vacuum clean up the mess without all the stress chrome plated telescoping handle nothing this little powerhouse can't pick up lift this 210 pound safe look at this little guy lifting that deluxe brush extended extension wand extended reach hose
Around the 1st of the year 2002, I started seeing this TV infomercial for 'The Bagless Stick Shark', a small convertible corded vacuum cleaner that supposedly has more suction than a regular
upright, and can pick up nasty things like map pins, rubber bands, big screws and bolts, light bulbs, peanut M&Ms, lengths of ribbon, paper towels, and other articles that would destroy any
ordinary vacumne.
