Fucking sucking like you've never fucking sucked before


Ok, you slovenly bitch... now that you're all plugged in and ready to fucking vaccum, here's how you do it:


See that pedal thing at the back of your fucking vaccum? That's called a fucking handle release.
Stomping on that little pedal lets you swing the handle down so you can fucking vacuum a lot more easily.



Now, you step on that fucking black thing and your fucking vacuum will roar to life,
probably spewing a nasty cloud of shit from the fucking vacuum bag you never change.




Now this is where it gets hard. In order to fucking vacuum, you have to push the fucking vacuum cleaner forward and then pull it back toward you. Keep doing that until you've sucked up everything suckuppable.
Pick up those fucking cigarette stubs and those fucking pink things. Suck like you've never fucking sucked before!!
As you can see, this fucking nasty ass rug needs to be fucking shampooed or fucking shitcanned.


Occasionally, while you're fucking vacuuming, you'll start to hear a fucking squealing sound and your fucking vaccum will start to fucking smell like a burning carton of rubber enema bags.
If this happens, you need to turn your fucking vacuum off and yank the fucking cord cord out of the wall right away, or you'll have to fucking shitcan it in the fucking alley dumpster while your apartment manager isn't watching.



Next... what to do if your fucking vacuum starts to stink and make horrible sounds.
Or you can go back... back to the fucking opening page to learn everything again.